Stay at Home Mom and Dad
English
Română
9 months
In fact, staying home is a bit inappropriate because neither of us actually stays, as probably those who have are raising children already know, or those who know what it means to write a master's thesis, or even those who do both at the same time.
The Covid-19 context we’re facing right now made us spend most of our time at home together, but even if there weren't any pandemic, we would probably have spent our days following the same pattern. I am so grateful that the three of us managed to spend Albert's first year together, without any of us having to leave home for many hours.
I recently debated the theory of “la vie en rose” (life in pink) with Philippe and my sister, trying to understand what it really means and where we measure our own lives according to it. And somehow the definition we found relevant for us is that living a life in pink actually means living a happy and successful life. What living a better life means is a long discussion on a case-by-case perspective, so here I warmly recommend Brene Brown, who has studied for many years the obstacles to living a happy life. Her books are revelating (I read two of them: “Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead” and “The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are”), and for those who watch Netflix, there is an one hour talk in which she talks about the same topics. Letting Brene define such complex concepts, I can still define the level of pink I feel at the moment in my life. My pink is somehow cherry pink (on a scale of 1 to 10, I would rate it somewhere around 9), not really Barbie pink.
There are many things for which I am deeply grateful for that have brought me to the point of defining my happy life a the 9 out of 10 levels, and one of these criteria is related to the time spent together as a family and the fact that we are both staying at home with Albert (other criteria are regarding health, well-being, connection, commitment, fulfilment, etc.). I'm fascinated every time I realise how much Albert really needs energy from both of us, and how happy he feels when he gets it. And we try to be as authentic and honest as possible towards him but also towards ourselves. We can already see very clear how he reacts differently with each of us, and how he looks for one of us when he wants to fill a certain need. Philippe is a master at playing with him with many giggles and frenzies, while he cuddles up into my arms when he feels the need to release some tension. However, we don’t practice exclusivity regarding parenting, and Albert is also satisfied when we change the roles (voluntarily or out of necessity).
Children are like sponges of energy and immediately feel the moods we are going through. That is why it is not surprising that today Albert was extremely growled, tired and clearly expressed all the emotions he felt. The time we spend together is wonderful, only sometimes we feel tired, stressed or overwhelmed because of deadlines knocking on the door, such as tonight's deadline for submitting Philippe's master's thesis. Moreover, in addition to all emotions that overwhelmed us both and Albert who followed us with Swiss precision, it is also overlapping the fact that we live in a tiny room, which becomes one of the less rose aspects of our lives. It is quite challenging to do everything in a single space, from cooking to sleeping, playing, training, eating, attending online meetings, doing hobbies, studying or writing a master's thesis.
And even if most of the time we warmly embrace the pack spirit and the fact that we do all the activities together, during this master's thesis period there have been moments when we would have appreciated another room with four walls and a door, other than the bathroom. There were many times when Philippe found his office in the bathroom, with a luxurious and comfortable toilet seat as support (though it is true in the last two days he moved his office in the car parked outside the building).
Not to mention all the online meetings he attended during his master's thesis and in which he politely apologised for Albert's interruptions of giggles or annoyances. And where did Albert end up talking or releasing his emotions? Of course, in the only room with the door we have.
This is how our experience of “stay at home mom and dad” looks like. To be honest, even if there were more difficult moments, I will remember with fun how Philippe wrote the master in the bathroom, with Albert running to mumble the laptop cables (he is over excited to travel the "long" way to the bathroom and to open the door alone, as well as to chew everything he catches, so this was a perfect combination).
P.S. Even if the memories from this period will remain in the box of funny things to tell to our grandchildren, we will not mind when we will move to another place with an extra room.
9 months
In fact, staying home is a bit inappropriate because neither of us actually stays, as probably those who have are raising children already know, or those who know what it means to write a master's thesis, or even those who do both at the same time.
The Covid-19 context we’re facing right now made us spend most of our time at home together, but even if there weren't any pandemic, we would probably have spent our days following the same pattern. I am so grateful that the three of us managed to spend Albert's first year together, without any of us having to leave home for many hours.
I recently debated the theory of “la vie en rose” (life in pink) with Philippe and my sister, trying to understand what it really means and where we measure our own lives according to it. And somehow the definition we found relevant for us is that living a life in pink actually means living a happy and successful life. What living a better life means is a long discussion on a case-by-case perspective, so here I warmly recommend Brene Brown, who has studied for many years the obstacles to living a happy life. Her books are revelating (I read two of them: “Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead” and “The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are”), and for those who watch Netflix, there is an one hour talk in which she talks about the same topics. Letting Brene define such complex concepts, I can still define the level of pink I feel at the moment in my life. My pink is somehow cherry pink (on a scale of 1 to 10, I would rate it somewhere around 9), not really Barbie pink.
There are many things for which I am deeply grateful for that have brought me to the point of defining my happy life a the 9 out of 10 levels, and one of these criteria is related to the time spent together as a family and the fact that we are both staying at home with Albert (other criteria are regarding health, well-being, connection, commitment, fulfilment, etc.). I'm fascinated every time I realise how much Albert really needs energy from both of us, and how happy he feels when he gets it. And we try to be as authentic and honest as possible towards him but also towards ourselves. We can already see very clear how he reacts differently with each of us, and how he looks for one of us when he wants to fill a certain need. Philippe is a master at playing with him with many giggles and frenzies, while he cuddles up into my arms when he feels the need to release some tension. However, we don’t practice exclusivity regarding parenting, and Albert is also satisfied when we change the roles (voluntarily or out of necessity).
Children are like sponges of energy and immediately feel the moods we are going through. That is why it is not surprising that today Albert was extremely growled, tired and clearly expressed all the emotions he felt. The time we spend together is wonderful, only sometimes we feel tired, stressed or overwhelmed because of deadlines knocking on the door, such as tonight's deadline for submitting Philippe's master's thesis. Moreover, in addition to all emotions that overwhelmed us both and Albert who followed us with Swiss precision, it is also overlapping the fact that we live in a tiny room, which becomes one of the less rose aspects of our lives. It is quite challenging to do everything in a single space, from cooking to sleeping, playing, training, eating, attending online meetings, doing hobbies, studying or writing a master's thesis.
And even if most of the time we warmly embrace the pack spirit and the fact that we do all the activities together, during this master's thesis period there have been moments when we would have appreciated another room with four walls and a door, other than the bathroom. There were many times when Philippe found his office in the bathroom, with a luxurious and comfortable toilet seat as support (though it is true in the last two days he moved his office in the car parked outside the building).
Not to mention all the online meetings he attended during his master's thesis and in which he politely apologised for Albert's interruptions of giggles or annoyances. And where did Albert end up talking or releasing his emotions? Of course, in the only room with the door we have.
This is how our experience of “stay at home mom and dad” looks like. To be honest, even if there were more difficult moments, I will remember with fun how Philippe wrote the master in the bathroom, with Albert running to mumble the laptop cables (he is over excited to travel the "long" way to the bathroom and to open the door alone, as well as to chew everything he catches, so this was a perfect combination).
P.S. Even if the memories from this period will remain in the box of funny things to tell to our grandchildren, we will not mind when we will move to another place with an extra room.
